Worth Getting Your Heart Broken For
by thedoctorandriver
Summary: He felt like an iron fist had caught hold of his hearts. The Hand whispered words in her ear - his words, the ones he had wanted to say to her. Why, after all he had done, did he always lose what mattered most in the end?  I dont own Dr Who


_A/N This is just a little something that caught hold of me. It's just a one shot – I think that trying to get rid of Rose nicely by dumping her with a duplicate of the Doctor is cheating so I am not really interested in following their life after Journey's End. But I wrote this anyway. It ties in with my other story, Shattered, but has nothing to do with it directly. In other words, this is what I think happened before the events of Shattered, but it is not a prequel. It made me cry, but maybe that's just me._

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><p>The Doctor felt like an iron fist had caught hold of his hearts and was crushing them mercilessly. Why could the Hand get Rose and not him? Had he not been the one to take her to see the universe? Why, after all he had sacrificed was it all for nothing? At the same time, the Doctor couldn't help feeling happy for Rose. She had got her forever with the Hand, and they would grow old - He stopped the thought of blonde haired children with chocolate brown eyes that weren't his. It was too painful.<p>

Rose stared at him, that heartbroken look in her eyes, and the part of him that was sad for her outweighed the part that was happy she was upset as well. The Hand whispered words in her ear – his words, the words he had been wanting to say to Rose for ever. One blink, and they were kissing passionately. The Doctor turned away, not wanting to see anymore. As he walked back to the TARDIS, alone once again, his hand brushed Rose's pocket, leaving a small piece of paper there. No more "she'll know" or hesitation. Rose had to know.

At least she would be happy now. It would have been far more cruel if he had to watch her crumble into dust while he lived on, wouldn't it? Wouldn't it be worth it, a small voice in his head asked, sending mental stabs of regret through his head. Some things are worth getting your heart broken for, someone had once said. They had been talking about him, but never did anyone realise. It was the other way around. What would he have done when Rose died? The Doctor tried desperately to fight off the answer but with no avail. There was only one thing he would do, and he knew exactly what it was. If Rose died, he would as well. The pain would slowly drive him mad until he regenerated three times and joined her. In a way, that would have been easier. Because now, Rose wasn't dead, but he still wouldn't see her again. The realisation nearly brought the Doctor to the ground in mind felt agony, but he forced his feet to move forward. Bringing one arm up, he unlocked the blue door, casting one last glance over the beach, carefully not looking a Rose or the Hand. He felt a rush of hatred towards the rocks and cliffs, even the sea. How could they always stay there, unaffected by whatever happened? How was it fair? Nothing is fair, the Doctor reminded himself as he stepped inside the TARDIS, nothing is ever fair. Especially not for him.

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><p>Later, when Rose and the hand had settled in their new house, and were engaged, Rose picked up her jacket, the one she had worn that fateful day on the cursed beach. It brought back too many memories, Rose decided. She would burn it. This was what she had been saying to herself almost every day the past year, but she had never done it. In that moment a small piece of paper fluttered to the floor. She picked it up, and her heart shattered into shards that would later be put back together by the Hand.<p>

I love you more.

And that's why I'm letting you go.

Do it for me, Rose Tyler, be happy. I couldn't carry on living if you weren't.

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><p><em>I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I liked writing it. Please review, and tell me what you thought. <em>

_The button is just underneath this, its square and it says review on it… So maybe you can click it and give me your opinion?_


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